Love lost and Love found
by 5t4c3y
Summary: After the trial Lindsay is asked to write a book about the case and her new life in New York. M&M's
1. Love Lost and Love Found

**A/N: Hi guy's. I'm being really stupid and starting yet another fic. That's me writing 5 now. Do you think I'll be able to do it? Of course I will. lol. Hope you all enjoy this. It's a little bit different from my other fic's. I have only seen up to episode 3x13, so sorry if things don't add up or aren't right.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! **

**Summary: After the trial in Montana, Lindsay is asked to write a book about the case and her new life in New York. It's going to have a lot of D/L though. The fic will be told in Lindsay's point of view.

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_**love lost and love found**_

It has haunted me for 15 years. 15 years of fear and blame. The images and sounds were running through my head constantly. Blood, screaming, their deathly white faces. Lifeless eye's staring back at me. But It's over now. I was 16 when it happened. My friends and I were walking home from school. It was a hot summer day, and soon the summer vacation would be starting. I didn't know that I would be the only one to see it.

"So Lind's." came the voice of my best friend Rachel "What are you doing this summer?"

"I was thinking on going to New York to see my uncle Freddie." I answered.

I always loved New York. Whenever my uncle Freddie visited my family in Montana, he would bring gift's and pictures of all the sights. I always dreamed of living there. I wanted to be a fashion designer. Design amazing dresses for the stars. That didn't happen though.

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We all walked into a little corner café that sold ice cream and cold drinks. My friends and I were well known and loved, so we got half our stuff for free. We liked that. Rachel, Aimee, Kerry and I were sitting and laughing about a lot of thing's. We were drinking some lemonade, and me being a little hyper, pored it all over the table. After I cleaned up the mess I had made, I headed for the bathroom to clean my hands, and that's when it happened.

The sound of the bell at the door could be heard, and soon panicked cry's. I didn't know what to do. I opened the door of the bathroom a crack and saw my three best friends on their knee's, tears falling from their eye's and begging for their lives. Then it happened. 3 gunshot's.

I closed my eye's and crawled into the corner of the bathroom, waiting for the sound of the bell on the door to ding. I kept telling myself _'this can't be happening, this is all a dream. It's not real'_. How wrong I was. The bell was finally heard, and I slowly exited back into the café, where lay the bodies of my friends. The blood. Their faces. Their eye's.

I loved my friends…and I lost them.

* * *

I tried to move on from that day, but I couldn't. I changed that day, and part of me died with my friends. I wanted to get out of Bozeman, out of Montana. I never wanted to return, so when I heard a of a job offering in New York, I jumped at the chance. Thankfully I got. So I headed out to start my new life in New York. Wiping the sleight clean. It was an amazing feeling, but there was still an empty feeling that I had. Friendship…love.

* * *

Mac Taylor. My boss and my friend. At first, I was a little nervous to be around him. I wanted to impress him with my knowledge, of course, I do the exact opposite and completely humiliate myself. Way to go Lindsay!

Stella Bonasera was the first real friend I made. She was helpful and kind, and made me feel like a part of the team straight away. She's now my best friend, almost like a sister, but she had no idea what I had went through.

Sheldon Hawkes was so sweet. He was kind and always had time to talk to me. Make sure I was ok and knew my way around the lab.

Don Flack was sweet also. He had a charming smile and he also always had time for me. We became good friends right away.

Now, Danny Messer. Not really love at first sight, nor second. When I first met Danny, I had the greatest urge to strangle him and wait for the tiger, that was apart of my first case, to come to, so that it would eat him. He was arrogant, seemed to be self centred and had an ego the size of Manhattan. So what was it that made us fall madly in love with each other?

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**A/N: So what do you guy's think so far? This was Lindsay's first impressions on the team. They'll all have an individual chapter each later on. Maybe more. Please R&R. Thanks. And thanks to AmylovesDanny for encouraging me to write this. You're great! **


	2. Danny

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews guy's. I'm sorry for the delay in the update, I wanted to get my story FRIENDS finished. It is now, so hopefully, I'll update sooner :o)

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_**Danny**_

Danny Messer. As you already know, I hated him the first time we met. Actually, I physically wanted to hurt him. It seemed that Danny was going out of his way just to make my new life in New York, a living hell. He embarrassed me, he talked about me as if I weren't there and he came up with _the _most annoying nick name for me. Montana. I mean it's not like I went around calling him Staten Island! Although, I did consider the nick name Ass Wipe for him. It suit him perfectly.

Well, as the months went by, I soon started to see the likable side of Mr Messer. It wasn't quite love, but close enough for us. I soon came to realise why Danny didn't like me when we first met, and it was because I replaced a good friend of his. Detective Aiden Burn. It wasn't until Aiden's death, did I realise that they were like brother and sister. She had been murdered by a serial rapist named DJ Pratt.

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Once the case had been closed and we caught Pratt, the whole team decided to go out for a drink in memory of Aiden. Since I had never met the young detective, I felt as if it wasn't my place to go with them. So I sat in my office that I shared with Danny, writing and e-mail to my Mom, telling her how things were in New York. I soon heard the voices of the team outside the office.

"I'll meet you guys outside." Came the faint voice of Danny.

The rest of the team entered the elevator and soon Danny walked into our office.

"Hey Montana." There it was again. The dreaded nick name "We're all goin out for drinks, you wanna come?"

Well, he did ask, and he wasn't completely annoying.

"Sure." I said with a nod.

He smiled and actually waited for me to get ready. We left the office talking. Actually having a civilized conversation that didn't involve embarrassing questions or death threats. We entered the elevator, where the conversation died down. There was an uncomfortable tension in the air though.

"How long did you know Aiden?" I asked

"About 5 years." Replied Danny "Apart from Flack she was like my best friend."

I gave a small smile and placed my hand on his forearm. He looked up at me, with those gorgeous blue eye's that I love about him.

"I'm sorry for your lose." I said, and I was sorry. Sure, Danny was a pain in the ass, but he didn't deserve to hurt the way he was.

He put his hand on top of my own and gave it a gentle squeeze. He also gave a small smile, and then said something I would never forget.

"Thank you Lindsay."

At that moment I knew we were going to become good friends.

* * *

After having some drink's, we decided to head back to our apartments. We were all sober enough to drive, but because I had walked to work that day, I had to get a ride from Danny. We sat in the car, Danny telling me some stories about Aiden. She sounded really funny and I think that if I had met her, we would be friends.

We soon came to a stop outside my apartment complex, where Danny killed the engine of the car.

"I'll walk you to your door." He said. Wow. He was actually being sweet, and to top things off, he opened the car door for me.

We made our way to the main door, where I raked through my purse trying to find my key's. I soon found them and began to play with them.

"Would you like to come up?" I asked "For a drink or something?"

"Well, we've just came from a bar Montana, but I'm sure one more beer wouldn't hurt." He said with a smile.

I smiled back , opening the main door and leading him to my apartment. It was that night that changed everything for us.

* * *

When we entered the apartment, and he began to scan the room.

"Nice place you've got." He said, taking a seat on the sofa.

"Thanks, do you want a beer?"

"Sure."

I went to the kitchen and came back to find him with a picture in his hand.

"What you looking at?" I asked, sitting next to him.

"Is this you as a teenager?" he asked with a smile.

He was looking at a picture of Me, Rachel, Kerry and Aimee.

"Yeah. I had just turned 16 there. It was my birthday." I answered, smiling at the memories.

"Wow." Began Danny "You were kinda hot back then."

My eye's went wide, and so did his when he realised what he had said.

"Not that you're not now." He quickly added "I mean, now you're amazingly hot, I-I mean, you're gorgeous, I-I mean…damn it!"

I smiled, watching him fall over his words like that.

"You think I'm hot?" I asked, still smiling

"Yeah, you're kinda hot." He began "Who am I fooling, you're absolutely one hundred percent hot ok! There, I said it, and I'm proud of it! Damn it, I've just turned round and said to a girl that I have teased so much that she's gorgeous-…" but he was cut off by me kissing him.

"W-w-what was that for?" he stuttered once we pulled apart.

"I had to get you to shut up one way Messer." I said with a smile.

"Well, good for you I like that way." and with that, he pulled me onto his lap and kissed mewhere. We ended up spending the night together.

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**A/N: So guy's, what did you think? Please R&R and tell me. Thanks :o)**


	3. Stella

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews guy's. Sorry for the huge delay.

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_**Stella**_

Since I moved to New York, Stella was like the only person I could really talk to. I told her all things that were bothering me. Like a bunch of teenagers, we told each other secret's, and had a lot of girly fun. She's like my big sister, but of course sisters keep secrets, so she still didn't know about Kerry, Rachel and Aimee. But she did know about Danny.

The day after Danny and I spent the night together, I went and told her what had happened. She was surprised at first, well…surprised may have been a bit of an understatement, seeing as she fainted when I told her, but afterwards, she was happy. She was glad that one of us could find a trust worthy guy.

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A few months before Aiden had been murdered, horrible news had spread through the crime lab. News that Stella had been attacked by her ex-boyfriend Frankie. I didn't want to believe it. It was happening again. My friends were being hurt. Montana just flashed back into my head.

Once I had found out that Stella had indeed been attacked, I so desperately wanted to go and see her. They kept telling me 'She'll be fine, she'll be fine.', but I wanted to see for myself. I was told that after what happened to my friends, that I would be fine, but I wasn't.

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I sat in the locker room, staring at my locker. I had been sitting there for what seemed like hours, and I was finally brought out of my own little world by someone walking in. It was Sheldon Hawkes.

"Oh, I'm sorry Lindsay." He began "I didn't know there was anyone else in here."

"It's ok." I whispered, then I turned back to my locker.

"Are you ok?" he asked, taking a seat next to me

I nodded unconvincingly.

"You sure?" he asked "because you know that you can talk to me if you're not."

"I'm just really worried about Stella. Everyone keep's telling me that I shouldn't go and see her, that she's fine, but I really need to know for myself."

"Well," began Hawkes "I can tell you truthfully, that she is very shaken up. She didn't come off as the worst. Frankie, her boyfriend, was found dead."

My eye's went wide, and I turned to face Hawkes.

"Wh-what happened?" I stuttered out.

"He was shot three times in the chest…Evidence confirms that Stella was the shooter."

I was shocked. Stella…the shooter.

"It was in self defence though." Continued Hawkes "Frankie had broken into her apartment, planning on setting up a romantic dinner and try win her back. It obviously didn't work. He ended up beating her, and she passed out after she shot him."

"Was she…." I couldn't continue.

"She wasn't raped no." replied Hawkes, knowing exactly what I was about to say "You've been hearing this all day, and it's probably annoying you, but, she will be ok."

"Physically." I said "Maybe not emotionally."

I looked at my hands, Sheldon placed one of his on top of mine. I looked up at him.

"Do you want to go see her?" He asked.

I nodded, and then he helped me up off the bench. He gave me a brotherly hug.

"You're such a great friend Hawkes." I said

"So are you Lind's. So are you."

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**A/N: So what did you think? Please R&R. Thanks :o)**


	4. Flack

**A/N: Thanks guy's for all the reviews. It means a lot :o)**

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_**Flack**_

A few week's after Stella had the incident with Frankie, thing's were nearly back to normal. She was still a little shaken up from the experience, but that was understandable. Anyway, Mac had called me and I was told that we had a homicide down town. Flack would meet us there.

We all drove in a comfortable silence. I couldn't wipe the smile of my face. I think Flack thought I was on drug's or something. Before I got the call from Mac, Danny had called me and asked me if I would meet him for dinner. Of course I agreed since we were going out and I had spent the previous night at his place.

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Well, when we arrived at the scene I was surprised to see a lot of people dancing in the street. We entered the old building, and were soon greeted by a dead security guard. Once we had taken a brief look at the body, I went to the car to retrieve the electrostatic dust lifter. On my way back though, ac phoned, asking me to clear everyone off the street…there was a bomb. 

"NYPD!" I kept crying "Everybody back up! We've got a bomb!"

Once everyone was gone, I looked over my shoulder, expecting to see Mac and Flack run out in the nick of time. But I was wrong. Al I saw was a flash, then there was a bang. All I remember after that, was lying on the ground, my head killing me.

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It was about 30 minutes later when I saw Stella, Hawkes and Danny pull up with their kit's. I was on my phone, trying to get a hold of Mac, but failing miserably. After explaining to Stella what had happened, she and Hawkes left, leaving me with Danny. 

"Are you ok?" he asked, placing his kit on the ground and pulling me closer.

"I'm fine." I said, worry evident in my voice.

He began to trace the cut that was on my head, with his fingers.

"We'll get this looked at." He said, sitting me down, on the open boot of the car.

I just held on to his hand, never letting it go.

"I'm just going to go get EMS" he said, beginning to leave, but I pulled him back.

"No please." I said "Please stay here with me. "Just for a minute"

He nodded, and sat next to me. I scooted closer to him, burying my head into his chest. I loved that he was always there for me.

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I was relieved when Mac and Flack were found, and out of the creaky building, but things weren't great. Flack had to be taken into surgery due to major injuries caused by the explosion. Yet another friend of mines was in danger. 

The case was hard on all of us, but it was soon solved, and Flack was in recovery. We sat in the hospital, watching over him, but soon, we figured that it was best to leave. I think Mac wanted some alone time with Flack. Danny turned to me.

"You still want that ride?" he asked, swaying on the ball's of his feet.

"Yeah." I said with a nod.

We said our goodbye's to Mac, and headed for his car. Our dinner date could wait a bit. We drove to my apartment, Danny trying to make conversation on they way, and me just staring out the window.

"Listen, Lind's." he began "I know you care about everyone on the team, but you seem really guilty whenever one of us get hurt."

"It's just a reflex I guess." I almost whispered "I just don't like to see my friends get hurt."

"Well, you know, if there is anything wrong, you can talk to me about it."

"_If only I could"_ I kept saying to myself.

We came to a stop outside my apartment block

"Danny, I really care about you, and I'm closer to you than anyone in the lab…but sometimes, secret's need to stay secrets."

With that, I gave him a kiss on the cheek, and got out of the car. What I didn't realise though, was at that moment, Danny and I were growing apart. It was only a matter of time.

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A/N: So what did you think? Please R&R :o)**


	5. Undercover

**A/N: Hi guy's, thanks for all the great reviews. I really hope you're enjoying the story :o) Please continue to R&R. **

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**_Undercover_**

I stood there, glued to the ground. I just stood there, staring at him. I was acting like a rabbit caught in headlights. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, so that's when I did it. I let go of the bag. My cover was blown, and it was either _'take him down now' _or _'get shot in the face.'_. But would it have mattered if I was shot? Would anyone truly miss me? Kerry, Rachel, and Aimee were shot…but they were missed, greatly.

As the bag dropped, I dived, knocking the hostage to the ground. She was taped up to a chair, the tape covering her mouth and her eye's. She had no idea what was going on, or who I was. She must have been terrified.

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Well, the apartment was smoky, you couldn't see 3 feet in front of you, but soon I heard them. Flack, who had recovered fully from the bombing. Stella, taking the gun from Mosi, and throwing him against a wall. Then Danny.

"Lindsay!..." I heard him yell "LINDSAY!"

"Danny!" I finally chocked out, covering my ringing ear with my hand.

The smoke was beginning to clear, and I saw the desperate look on my lovers face. He was scared, ad I had never seen him that way before, apart from when we were outside.

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_I stood, fastening up my bullet proof vest. Why I had agreed to go in undercover, I don't know, but I was doing it. Stella could have went, or another officer, but it was me. I volunteered. I was just finishing putting on my vest when Danny approached me._

_"What do you think you're doin'?" he asked, worry evident on his face _

_"Danny, I'll be fine." I said, putting on my jacket. _

_"No, we've got undercover's who can do this, alright, it's not our job!" _

_He looked so…reluctant. Reluctant to let me go. _

_"Well it is now." I said, finally facing him "You heard what she said, if we don't get in there in under 4 minutes her friend dies." _

_I wasn't for letting another girl lose her best friend. I zipped up my jacket, and was just about to walk past Danny, when he pulled me by the arm, and took me behind the car, out of sight. _

_"Danny I need to get in there, let go of me." I said, but never trying to free myself. _

_"Please Lindsay, don't do this." He took my hand's, squeezing them, hoping it would keep me there with him, but it didn't. _

_"Danny…I need to go." _

_I finally pulled my hands out his grasp, gave him a soft kiss, and walked past him, into danger once again. _

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"Are you alright?" he asked, covering my other ear with his hand.

All I did was nod. He pulled me in for a hug, keeping me close to him so he knew I was still with him. I caught him glaring at Mosi. He could have killed me, and instead of leaving in Danny's arm's, I would be yet another victim leaving in a body bag.

He pulled out of the a hug a bit to look at me, he stroked my hair, and I felt less frightened. Soon we were hugging again. I grabbed onto his shoulder, never wanting to let him go, and that's when I said it, the word's that we still hadn't said. It was only a whisper, but to the both of us, it was like I was screaming it at the top of my lungs.

"I love you."

I could feel him pull me even closer, if that was even possible. He kissed my head, and whispered:

"I love you too."

With that he led me out of the apartment, taking my to the EMS, yet again.

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We walked to the elevator, he was always holding onto me. I was feeling that if he let go, my leg's would turn into jelly. We entered the elevator, still very close. The door's shut, and we were soon heading to safety.

"Thank you." I said, breaking our silence "Thank you for coming to get me."

"I couldn't leave you there." He said "I mean, come on, who else would stop me from doing stupid thing's?"

I just chuckled, and let my head fall against his chest.

"It's been a crazy couple of month's." I said with a sigh, liking the way he was stroking my hair.

"Yeah. And you know what Montana, they're only going to get crazier."

Boy was he right. They were going to get crazier. Maybe Danny and I weren't growing further apart, but thing's were going to change when I receive the letter from Bozeman.

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**A/N: So what did you think? Pleas R&R. Thanks :o)**


	6. Tell me you don’t love me

**A/N: Hi guys! Thanks for all the reviews. This chapter is going to be full of Angst, so be warned! lol :o) **

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**_Tell me you don't love me_**

Well, Danny was right. It hadn't even been three weeks since I went undercover, and already, craziness was happening. Comes with the job I guess. Well, I woke up feeling very refreshed, happy and goodness knows what else. I was in a great mood! Stella and I had went out the previous night. We went to dinner, a dance club, where she was _shamelessly _flirting with the bar tender…who I'll admit was really cute. But damn it! I was taken. We then came back up to my apartment, where we watched Scary Movie 4. We had a great time!

I got ready for work, a slight skip in my step as I headed out the door.

"Good morning Mr Jacobs." I said to my neighbour, in a sing song voice.

He was retrieving his work boot's from the hall, a little alarmed by my good mood.

"Good Morning dear." He said, his face still full of confusion by my actions.

I just smiled, and decided to take the stairs down to the lobby.

I entered the rather large lobby and went to my mail slot.

"Oooh yes." I said to myself "I've got mail."

Ricky, the old friendly janitor, was mopping up beside me.

"Good morning Miss Monroe." He said with a smile "How are we this morning?"

"Good morning Ricky." I replied "I feel great."

I skimmed through my mail. Bill, bill, bill, letter from Mom, another bill, and… Bozeman county court? A little confused, I opened the letter, reading it very carefully.

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After finishing, I felt my good mood sink. They wanted my to go back to Montana to testify to the murders of my friends! How was I to face everyone again!?

I entered work, acting as though nothing was bothering me. I went to the locker room, where Danny was standing.

"Hey." He said, kissing my cheek "I was wondering if you wanted to get lunch with me later on. What do ya say?"

"Sure." I said with a nod.

We didn't talk much after that, and I was soon quickly out of the locker room, and heading for my office. I wrote an e-mail to my Mom, telling her that I had received the letter. I didn't know what I was going to do. My boyfriend and my friends killer had the same name…Daniel.

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Well, Danny and I were assigned a case, where a young woman was stabbed with and icicle. Things between us weren't great. I stood him up for lunch. I didn't want to tell him about my friends.

After the interrogation, I left the room, I wanted to be alone. Danny however decided to catch up with me. He wanted to talk.

"What's goin on with you?" he asked, stopping me in my tracks "Is everything between us ok?"

"Danny, I apologized about lunch. I…I just couldn't make it."

"Montana." He said "How long have we been dating?...what?...7 months?"

I said nothing. I just put my hands in my pockets and listened.

"Something is bothering you. Please, you can tell me…you can open up to me."

I couldn't believe I was about to do this. I didn't want to , but if I didn't, Danny could be hurt. I walked over to the window, and he followed me.

"Danny…" I began "…I can't do this anymore."

His face fell.

"You can't do what?" he asked, not wanting to believe what I was telling him

"I can't be in a…relationship with you."

"That's where you're wrong Lindsay." He said, taking my hands in his "We can…we…we've gone through so much together, and, you're like my best friend. I love you."

_'I love you too' _I said to myself

"Danny…do you even know what love is?" I asked, trying hard not to cry "How can you tell if this is the first time you've experienced it?"

"I just know Lindsay." He said, still clutching my hands, never wanting to let them go "I know because…when I look at you…nothing else matters to me. It's just you…It's always going to be just you."

He was making this so hard. I can't stay with him though…I just can't.

"Danny…please." I said, my voice cracking "Don't make this harder for us."

He took my hand, and put it to his chest. I could feel the beating of his heart through the soft material of his shirt.

"This is yours Lindsay." He said

I didn't say anything. I just let the silent tears fall.

"…Tell me you don't love me." He said.

I looked at him in horror. He was so close to crying himself, and I just felt awful for doing this.

"Tell me you don't love me and I'll believe that you really want this to happen…but if you don't…I'll know that my heart is still yours. It always will be."

"Danny…you can't make me say that. You can't make me fall out of love with you."

"Just say the words Lindsay…just say 'I don't love you'…It might make this easier to deal with."

I gently pulled my hand out of his, and looked at him.

"No." I said, and with that, I continued the walk down the hall.

My tears finally began to fall harder, and I was close to hysterics when I rounded the corner, out of his sight. I couldn't believe that Messer and Montana were…over.

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**A/N; So what did you guys think? I'm going to add in chapters that are not based on any episodes. I think the next one will be like that. Please R&R. Thanks :o)**


	7. I miss you

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews guys. Please, please continue with them. Thanks :o)**

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**_I miss you _**

It had been about two weeks since I broke up with Danny, and I was finding it so hard to concentrate. Not waking up next to him most mornings was hard. I was starting to regret not going to lunch with him. One last time.

To make things more awkward, I was assigned my first case with him since the split. We both sat in a small lab, looking over evidence, never talking unless it was about the case. Our vic had been found in Central Park lying on a picnic blanket, with a knife in his chest. He held a single red rose in his limp hand.

"I think we're looking at a crime of passion definitely." Spoke Danny, very quietly.

"Danny," I began "Could a woman have enough strength to put that knife into his heart. I mean, you seen the size of this guy, He was huge!"

"Women can do a lot to a guys heart." He said, looking at me.

When he looked back down at the evidence in front of him, I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. He was indicating that I had broke his heart. That putting a knife through his would have been better than what I did. It probably would have been.

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After a few days, we were finally getting somewhere in our case. We found blood on one of the thorns from the rose, and the DNA came back to a female. Luckily she was in the system. Regina Morgan.

I sat in the interrogation room, Danny outside, listening to everything we were saying. She was very pretty, Regina, and seemed to have a guilty conscience.

"Why did you do it Regina?" I asked simply "Didn't you love him?"

"I did." She said, tears coming to her eyes "But I didn't want to love him anymore. I couldn't let him get hurt anymore."

"So you put a knife through his heart." It was more of a statement than a question.

"He wouldn't let go of me. He kept telling me to tell him 'I don't love him'…"

_'Tell me you don't love me.' Said Danny close to tears himself _

"…I couldn't do it, but he kept pushing, and pushing…"

_'Danny, you can't make me fall out of love with you' _

"…He just wouldn't let go of me. So, I picked up the knife…I didn't mean to kill him."

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She began to cry, her blonde curls bouncing as she cried harder.

"I mean…do you know what it's like?...to be in love with someone who you can't be with, but you want nothing more in the world to just crawl into his arms and sense that everything is going to be alright?"

I could only nod. I felt as though I was staring back at myself.

" Regina." I began "Love can be so complicated. You feel like, you can't be with that one person who makes your day better, who's smile can make you so happy when you're feeling like crap. You feel that the only way you feel safe is in his arms. You love him…you always will, but you fear, that if you tell him what's going on in your life, he'll get hurt…but killing him doesn't make these feelings go away."

Regina was getting a little confused as tears came to my eyes.

"And you don't have to kill him physically, you could have killed him emotionally…you could have told him what was going on. You could have opened up to him…told him your secret."

* * *

Regina was taken out of her seat by the two officers, she looked down at me as I wiped my eye's.

"I killed my love detective," she began "Don't do the same to yours."

She was just about to leave once I stopped her.

" Regina!" I called "Why exactly could you not be with him?"

"He had the same name as the man you killed my family…Richard."

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It was just a coincidence that Regina's story was so similar to my own, but It was really bugging me. I left the interrogation room, to find Danny standing outside, waiting on me. I knew he had heard everything that was said in the inside, and Regina's words came back to me.

_'I killed my love detective…Don't do the same to yours.' _

"Danny…" I began, but he cut me off.

"Whatever you've got going on in your life right now Montana, you don't have to tell me…I'll wait…I'll wait for you."

"Danny, I didn't mean to hurt you…but right now would be easier if we weren't together…no matter how much I miss you."

"I understand." He said quietly "Just…call when you're ready to talk…I'll be there."

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**A/N: So what did you think? Please R&R. Thanks :o)**


	8. Hawkes

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys. Please keep them coming. I don't know if I'll be able to update as often on my fics now, because my parents have announced that they are divorcing, and I'll be moving soon, so sorry.**

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**__**

**_Hawkes _**

**__**

It had been a couple of weeks since I had interrogated Regina, and surprisingly those weeks had been a little bit easier. That was until Hawkes was framed for murder. I couldn't believe when I had found out about his situation. Apparently he had shot a bar tender, and someone had actually seen him do it! Hawkes would never kill anyone, I mean he's…Hawkes! He wouldn't hurt a fly. Not the Hawkes that I know anyway.

I was right. It wasn't Hawkes who killed that girl, but a look-a-like. A look-a-like hired by an old suspect, and fugitive, Shane Casey. A person who Danny emotionally connected with.

* * *

Hawkes' name was soon cleared, but Shane was still at large, and I was petrified once I found out how we were going to capture him. He wanted Danny to come and see him…and he wanted him alone.

I searched every room frantically trying to find him. Making sure that he hadn't left yet, and soon enough I found him in the locker room, thankfully alone. I closed the door behind me, and locked it. I wanted to talk to him without any interruptions.

"Danny." I said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He turned to look at me, but continued to get ready.

"What is it Lindsay?" he said, not sounding happy at all

"Please you can't do this, please don't go. Please." I said all this with pleading eyes.

I still loved him, and couldn't begin to imagine how I would live without seeing him every day. All he did was sigh and look at me. I still hadn't told him why we couldn't be together anymore, but he was still always there for me.

" Montana, there's nothing else we can do." He said "I'll be well armed, and if I think that I'm in any danger what so ever, I know what to do."

I could feel tears burning my eyes, and soon they fell. I took his hand and held it tight.

"Stay here, stay with me." I said "I want to be with you. I hate not seeing you every night, or every day I'm off."

"Lind's, I told you, I'll be there for you. Just tell me what's going on."

So I told him. I told him everything that had happened to me. My past, how he was the only person who I have ever loved, and I mean truly loved. I just told him everything and I felt better, knowing that he knew.

* * *

We sat on the benches, hand in hand. I just looked at our locked hands, watching him as his thumb rubbed over the back of mine.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" he asked softly.

"I was afraid in case I lost you, in case you got hurt." I said, never looking at him "I'm really sorry for locking you out, but I didn't know what else to do."

I began to cry again. This was beginning to annoy me. I quickly dried me tears with the sleeve of my shirt, and shifted closer to him, where he wrapped his arm around me and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes and gave a small sigh, a smile finding it's way onto my face.

"I love you." He said in a whisper

"I love you too." I replied, looking up to meet his eyes "And I want to be with you forever."

"Forever it is then." And with that he kissed me.

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**A/N: Please R&R, thanks :o**


	9. Telling Mac

**A/N: Hi guys. Thanks for the reviews. Means a lot****. This is the final chapter guys. enjoy :o)**

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_**Telling **__**Mac**_

Well the months seemed to pass since I had told Danny about what had happened to me, and our relationship just seemed to be stronger than ever. Everyday he told me he loved me. Everyday I told him I loved him.

The day finally came where I had to tell Mac Taylor, my boss, that I was having to leave for a while. I sat in his office, with Stella by my side, fidgeting with my fingers. Stella had found out what had happened to me, and I felt a huge wave of relief once she had, but I was nervous in telling Mac. I didn't know where to start.

Stella saw me fidgeting, and placed her hand over mine, calming me down a bit, then Mac walked in.

"Lindsay." He said, taking a seat "What can I do for you?"

I looked at Stella briefly, and she nodded for me to tell him. Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth and began to speak.

"A couple of months ago" I began "I received a letter from Bozeman, saying that I've to testify to a murder I witnessed years ago."

After telling Mac everything, he was shocked. He had no idea that anything like this had happened. He gave me a hug, as did Stella, and I left the office, where I saw Danny standing by the elevator doors. He had his hand's in his jacket pockets, and was staring at me.

I walked over to him, wrapping my arms around myself. Once I had approached him, he gave me a hug, congratulating me in telling people about my horrific past. We pulled apart, but only enough to keep eye contact.

"Could you take me home?" I asked "I need to pack. My flight leaves tomorrow morning."

"Sure."

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and we left the lab, into the cold November weather.

* * *

We reached my apartment quite quickly. The car journey was surprisingly quiet. Danny came up with me, to help pack. 

We had been packing for about an hour, and finally the silence that had been engulfing us was broken by Danny.

"Lindsay, do you want me to come with you?" he said "I don't mind."

I put one of my shirts in my suitcase, and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Danny, I really love you, and I'm letting you in, but I think I need to do this on my own."

He nodded, understanding where I was coming from.

"Plus." I continued with a smirk "New York wouldn't be the same without you."

He smiled and gave me a kiss.

"Just…be careful." He said

"I will be." I said, kissing him again.

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The next day, we stood in the airport. I had a suitcase in hand and a carryon hung over one shoulder. I was going to be staying with my Mom and Dad while back in Montana. I held onto Danny's hand until I got to my gate. Stopping I turned to face him. Never letting go of his hand. 

"You take care of yourself over there." He said

"I will. Don't get into too much trouble over here."

He smiled

"I won't."

We continued to just hold hands and look at each other, the I heard my final calling.

"I need to go." I said "I love you."

"I love you too."

We kissed, and then I left. We'll see each other in four weeks. They'll be the longest four weeks of my life.

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Those four weeks were coming longer than I thought possible. I had half a week left, and then I would be home. I sat at the stand for what seemed like the thousandth time. I had broke down the previous day because that sick bastard that killed my friends was smiling. Smiling! I didn't know if today would make anything different, but it sure did when I saw him walk into the court room. Danny. I smiled when I saw him take a seat at the back. Knowing he was there was enough to let me finish. 

To make things even better, 'He' was found guilty! My friends souls can finally rest in peace, and…I can now begin to move on with my life. It's over. Danny and I stood to leave the court room. He gave me a hug, and was about to leave with me, but I pulled him back and was just about to kiss him when the reporters came in.

"Miss Monroe, Miss Monroe!" they cried.

Before Danny and I could meet in a kiss we pulled apart.

"Miss Monroe, Miss Monroe!" they continued to cry.

Danny just smiled, and held up a hand.

"Could you guys excuse us for a moment?" he asked

Then he turned and kissed me. He didn't care if they go it on camera. We then left the court room hand in hand.

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Lindsay had just finished typing up her story, Danny reading over her shoulder. 

"So what do you think?" she asked

"It's great." Replied Danny "Just one thing though, you need a cover and title."

Lindsay turned back to the computer and began to type:

**Love lost and Love found**

**By Lindsay Monroe Messer**

Danny smiled as she saved it. She stood up just as a little voice could be heard.

"Mommy, Daddy" came the little voice. "What's going on?"

Danny and Lindsay looked down at their three year old daughter Zoe. She looked like her Mom, but had Danny's blue eyes.

"Nothing Honey." Said Lindsay, picking her up "You wanna go out and get lunch?"

"Daddy coming too?" she asked

"Of course." Said Danny, taking her from Lindsay.

Zoe smiled, and soon the family left for lunch. Love found and Love lost. Lindsay loved her friends, and lost them, but she loves Danny and Zoe, and she found them.

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**A/N: So what did you think? Please R&R. Thanks :o)**


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